When Things Don't Work Out: Understanding the Au Pair Rematch Process

By Sunshine Au Pair · Published April 2026 · 6 min read

Nobody enters the au pair program expecting it not to work out. But sometimes, despite everyone's best efforts, the match simply isn't right. When that happens, it's important to understand the process — both for your family's peace of mind and for the wellbeing of your au pair. Here's what you need to know about the rematch process in the Netherlands.

What Is a Rematch?

A rematch is the formal process of ending a placement early and, where possible, placing the au pair with a new host family. It's not a failure — it's a structured safety net built into the program. Personality clashes, different expectations, family circumstances changing, or simply not clicking as a household are all legitimate reasons a placement might end.

At Sunshine Au Pair, we always try mediation first. Many issues that feel dealbreaking in the moment can be resolved with honest conversation and guidance from an experienced program manager. But when mediation doesn't work, rematch is the responsible next step.

How It Works: The Practical Steps

Once either the host family or the au pair indicates that the placement isn't working, your Sunshine Au Pair program manager steps in to assess the situation. They'll speak with both parties separately, understand the concerns, and determine whether mediation could resolve things.

If a rematch is agreed upon, we work quickly. The au pair's residence permit in the Netherlands is tied to a specific host family, so IND (Immigration and Naturalisation Service) regulations require that a new sponsor is found within a defined timeframe, or the au pair must return to their home country. This is why speed matters and why working with an experienced agency makes a significant difference.

IND Rules You Should Know

The au pair's residence permit is connected to the host family as sponsor. If a placement ends, the original host family must formally deregister the au pair with the IND. A new host family then applies as the new sponsor. This process has strict timelines — the au pair cannot simply stay in the Netherlands without an active sponsor.

This is one of the key reasons working with an IND-recognised agency like Sunshine Au Pair matters. We handle the administrative complexity, liaise with the IND, and ensure that everything stays compliant so that a workable rematch can be arranged as smoothly as possible.

For Au Pairs: What a Rematch Means for You

If you're an au pair considering a rematch, talk to your Sunshine Au Pair candidate manager first. Don't just leave the host family or stop working without communication — this can jeopardise your residence status and your ability to stay in the Netherlands. There are rules and timelines that protect you, but only if you work through the proper channels.

Working Out Problems Before They Become Rematches

Many rematches are preventable. The video playlist below covers common issues that arise during placements and how to work through them — from communication breakdowns to scheduling conflicts to cultural misunderstandings.

The common thread in nearly all resolvable issues is early, honest communication. If something is bothering you — whether you're the host family or the au pair — raise it within the first few days, not after weeks of silent frustration. Your Sunshine program manager can mediate difficult conversations and often spots solutions that neither party considered.

The Takeaway

Rematches happen, and they don't have to be traumatic. With the right agency support, clear communication, and respect for the process, both families and au pairs can move forward positively. The goal is always the same: ensuring everyone ends up in a placement where they can genuinely thrive.