The most important questions to ask an au pair in an interview cover childcare experience, daily routines, personal values, expectations around boundaries, and language ability. A well-structured interview gives you a clear picture of whether a candidate is genuinely suited to your family’s lifestyle, not just on paper, but in practice. The sections below walk through each area so you can approach the conversation with confidence and know exactly what to listen for.
How do you structure an au pair interview effectively?
Structure your au pair interview in three phases: an opening that puts the candidate at ease, a core section covering experience, values, and expectations, and a closing that invites their questions. A structured format ensures you cover every important area without the conversation drifting, and it gives the candidate a fair opportunity to show who they really are.
Before the interview begins, review the candidate’s profile and any documents or references already provided. Write down your key questions in advance, grouped by theme, so you move naturally from one topic to the next. Keep the tone warm and conversational rather than interrogative. Au pair candidates are often nervous, and a relaxed atmosphere will draw out more honest, revealing answers.
A typical interview runs between 30 and 45 minutes. Start with light introductory questions about the candidate’s background and why they want to come to the Netherlands. Move into the core questions about childcare, personality, and expectations. End by explaining your family’s daily life and inviting the candidate to ask anything they need to know. This two-way format builds rapport and signals that you value the relationship, not just the arrangement.
What questions reveal an au pair’s childcare experience?
The most revealing childcare questions ask candidates to describe specific situations rather than give general answers. Ask about real experiences with children, including ages they have cared for, activities they have organized, and how they have handled difficult moments. Concrete examples are far more informative than broad claims about loving children.
Strong au pair candidates will typically have verifiable childcare experience backed by references. When exploring this area, ask questions such as:
- How old were the children you cared for, and what did a typical day look like?
- Can you describe a time a child was upset or unwell and how you responded?
- What kinds of activities do you enjoy doing with young children?
- Have you ever been responsible for a child’s routine, including meals or bedtime?
- Do you have any first aid training or experience with children’s health needs?
Pay attention to how the candidate talks about children. Genuine enthusiasm tends to come through in the details: specific games they played, books they read, ways they calmed a child down. Vague answers like “I just love kids” without any supporting story are worth probing further. Asking follow-up questions such as “Can you give me an example?” quickly separates candidates with real experience from those with limited exposure.
What questions uncover an au pair’s personality and values?
Personality and values questions reveal whether a candidate’s character is a genuine fit for your household. The best approach is to ask open-ended, scenario-based questions that require the candidate to reflect rather than give a rehearsed answer. These questions are often more telling than any formal qualification.
Consider asking:
- How would you describe yourself to someone who has never met you?
- What does a good day look like for you personally?
- How do you handle situations where you feel frustrated or overwhelmed?
- What are your values when it comes to caring for children?
- How do you feel about being part of a family’s daily life for a full year?
The au pair program is fundamentally a cultural exchange, and the right candidate is someone who is genuinely open-minded, patient, and adaptable. These are not just nice qualities to have. They are essential for living and working within a family home in a foreign country. Look for candidates who demonstrate self-awareness, a positive attitude toward new experiences, and an ability to communicate honestly when something is not working. These traits tend to predict a successful placement far more reliably than a polished CV.
What should you ask about an au pair’s expectations and boundaries?
Questions about expectations and boundaries are among the most important in any au pair candidate interview, and they are often the ones families skip. Misaligned expectations are the most common source of tension during a placement. Addressing them directly at the interview stage prevents misunderstandings before they become problems.
Key questions to ask include:
- What does your ideal weekly routine look like?
- How do you feel about light household tasks such as tidying the children’s rooms or preparing simple meals?
- What are your plans for your days off, and how important is personal time to you?
- How would you feel about joining family meals and activities?
- Is there anything you are not comfortable doing that we should know about?
It is equally important to be transparent about your own expectations during this part of the conversation. Explain your family’s weekly schedule, the children’s ages and routines, and what the role will realistically involve. Au pair schedules are fixed, not flexible — working hours are set in advance and must be agreed upon clearly before the placement begins. In the Netherlands, the au pair program operates within strict legal guidelines around working hours and responsibilities. Being clear about these boundaries from the outset protects both the candidate and your family, and it sets the tone for an honest, respectful relationship throughout the year.
What questions assess language skills and cultural adaptability?
To assess language skills, ask the candidate to describe something in detail, such as their hometown, a recent trip, or a typical day in their life. This naturally tests their vocabulary, fluency, and ability to communicate under real conversational conditions. A minimum B1 level of English is required for au pairs entering the Netherlands, so the interview itself serves as a practical language assessment.
Beyond language, cultural adaptability is a strong predictor of how well a candidate will settle into life in a Dutch household. Useful questions include:
- What do you already know about the Netherlands, and what are you most curious about?
- Have you lived away from home before, and how did you find the adjustment?
- How do you usually respond when something is unfamiliar or different from what you expected?
- Are you comfortable cycling, or open to learning? (Practical in the Dutch context, though not a formal requirement.)
Candidates who have researched the Netherlands, show genuine curiosity about Dutch culture, and can reflect honestly on past experiences of adapting to new environments are far more likely to thrive. The au pair year is a significant commitment, and a candidate who approaches it with openness and enthusiasm rather than anxiety will find the transition much smoother, and so will your family.
What red flags should you watch for during the interview?
Red flags in an au pair interview include vague or evasive answers about childcare experience, signs of inflexibility around schedules and responsibilities, unrealistic expectations about earnings or freedom, and a lack of genuine interest in the family’s children. Any of these signals warrants careful consideration before moving forward.
Specific warning signs to watch for include:
- The candidate cannot provide specific examples when asked about childcare situations.
- They seem primarily motivated by travel or income rather than the cultural exchange and childcare role.
- They are reluctant to discuss boundaries, responsibilities, or the realities of living with a family.
- Their language ability is significantly below what they indicated in their profile.
- They become defensive or dismissive when asked about difficult scenarios.
- References are unavailable or the candidate is hesitant to provide them.
It is also worth noting that any candidate who has been asked to pay a fee to an agent or recruiter should be treated with caution. Legitimate au pair programs do not charge applicants fees for registration or placement. If a candidate mentions paying a third party to secure their placement, this may indicate involvement with unaccredited intermediaries, which can complicate the visa and immigration process.
Trust your instincts, but also look at the full picture. A candidate who is nervous but warm, engaged, and honest is often a better fit than one who gives polished answers that feel rehearsed. The interview is a conversation, and the best matches tend to feel natural from the very first exchange.
How Sunshine Au Pair helps you find the right match
Finding a candidate who passes every interview question is easier when the screening has already been done before you meet them. Sunshine Au Pair supports host families throughout the entire matching and interview process with a structured approach built on over a decade of experience.
- All candidates are pre-screened against eligibility requirements, including childcare experience, language ability, and references.
- Dedicated Program Managers guide families through the interview stage and provide feedback to support your decision.
- Both self-matched candidates and agency-introduced au pairs go through the same thorough vetting process.
- Ongoing support continues throughout the placement year, with regular check-ins and mediation if any issues arise.
- As an IND-recognised agency, Sunshine Au Pair handles all visa and immigration paperwork once a match is confirmed.
Whether you have already found a candidate or are looking for the right match, the team at Sunshine Au Pair is ready to help. Get in touch with the team and take the first step toward a placement that works for your whole family.