Flexibility in the Au Pair Program: Balancing Structure with Cultural Exchange
by Barbara Else
One of the greatest appeals of the au pair program is its promise of flexibility—a feature that benefits both host families and au pairs. However, it is important for all parties to understand that flexibility in this context does not mean a constantly changing schedule. Instead, it is a program that allows for a mutually beneficial arrangement within a clearly defined framework.
A Stable Schedule as the Foundation
At the heart of every successful au pair arrangement in The Netherlands is a weekly work schedule that is as fixed as possible. When an au pair joins a host family, both parties agree upon a detailed timetable outlining the specific hours and tasks. This schedule is not only a reference for daily operations but also a legal document that is submitted to our agency, and made available to the IND.
Where Flexibility Truly Lies
The true flexibility of the au pair program lies in its ability to cover gaps that conventional childcare facilities might not fill. For example:
- Meal Preparations: An au pair can assist with preparing breakfast, taking kids to school and daycare or providing help during evening meals—tasks that are not commonly managed by regular childcare centres.
- Supplementing Childcare Hours: If local daycare centres have limited operating hours, a host family can allocate specific working hours to the au pair to bridge that gap.
It is important to note, however, that while these hours offer flexibility in terms of when childcare support is available, they still need to be set in advance and remain consistent throughout the duration of the arrangement.
The au pair program can offer reliable weekly support tailored to the needs of busy families. When deciding whether this program is the right fit for your family, it is important to evaluate whether the services an au pair provides align with your needs, or if other childcare or housekeeping options—such as local babysitters or cleaners—would be more suitable. For instance, if you are hoping for spontaneous weekend getaways while someone cares for the children, an au pair may not be the best solution. Overnight babysitting is not permitted, as it would exceed the eight-hour daily working limit, and the two free days per week are usually scheduled on weekends to allow the au pair to join events and outings with other international young people.
If you need help during the evenings after work—such as for a gym session or a class—this can be accommodated as long as those hours are included in the au pair’s agreed working schedule. It is important to note that if the au pair remains at home alone with the children, this is considered working time, even if the children are asleep. Incorporating regular evening activities into the schedule, will benefit both the family and the au pair, as it provides peace of mind that your commitments are covered and ensures the au pair is aware that these hours are dedicated to their duties.
Shift Work
What if your work involves shift patterns? This scenario can be accommodated by creating and submitting more than one approved weekly schedule template. For example, if you work from 8:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. on Monday to Friday in week A, but from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. in week B, you can develop two distinct schedules (A and B) for the au pair to follow alternately. This way, the au pair knows in advance which hours they are expected to work and which hours they are free, making planning easier for everyone. This approach exemplifies the type of flexibility that the au pair program offers—flexibility that may not be available with other forms of childcare.
Balancing Work with Cultural Exchange
At its core, the au pair program is a cultural exchange. Au pairs are not only caregivers—they are explorers in a new country, with the opportunity to discover The Netherlands and its rich cultural heritage during their free time. A structured work schedule ensures that au pairs have reliable work commitments, while also allowing them time to travel, visit attractions, and immerse themselves in local culture.
When planning your schedule, it is essential to consider public holidays. Celebrations like King’s Day are significant cultural experiences for au pairs, and it is not appropriate to require them to work on such days.
When you have created a schedule template that adheres to the working hours limits, it is important to share this and discuss it with au pair candidates during the interviewing and matching process. Remember that it is not only you who is choosing an au pair, but the au pair is also choosing the right host family for them. Therefore, this is another reason why the schedule that is presented in the beginning should be a truthful and realistic representation of life with your family and the duties at the au pair will do.
As shared by some of our recent participants at our event on February 1st, 2025, the Au Pair experience can be truly life-changing:
It’s great. I am really learning and having fun. I would like to share with my fellow au pairs to enjoy every free minute you have. Don’t just stay in your room when you can go out because this country has so much to offer—beautiful places, amazing forests, and friendly people. I can see that Sunshine Agency is doing its best for us. I am so proud to be part of this agency.
First and foremost I just want to thank the Sunshine Agency for making my dream come true. It has always been my dream since I was young to fly to Europe, and the Sunshine Agency made that possible. I also want to thank the follow-up team—you helped with the documents, especially when I was stuck. I can’t take that for granted either 😊. I’m one month old in the Netherlands since I came from Kenya and in that month I have been able to move to different parts of the country, which was so cool. I also managed to interact with other au pairs at Heineken, courtesy of Sunshine Au Pair Agency—the interaction with different au pairs was awesome because I got the chance to learn a few things from various nationalities. I’m really grateful for the agency and can’t wait to have more fun with my host family, other au pairs, and the agency team as well.
I want to tell other au pairs who are starting out that if you are here, please live life to the fullest. Go out, travel, and enjoy your rest days, and make friends.
These testimonials highlight that with a well-planned schedule, au pairs can enjoy a rich cultural exchange while fulfilling their work responsibilities.
Legal Requirements and Limitations
For the program to be successful and sustainable, certain legal requirements must be strictly adhered to:
- Work Hours: Au pairs are not permitted to work more than 30 hours per week or exceed 8 hours in a single day.
- Days Off: They must have 2 full free days each week, in addition to free public holidays and 10 working days of annual leave as stipulated in the contract.
- Childcare Boundaries: Au pairs cannot be left alone with the children overnight, since babysitting is counted as working hours and would exceed the daily limit.
Following these rules is essential not only for legal compliance but also for ensuring a harmonious relationship that lasts for the full 12-month duration of the program.
To ensure compliance, the IND may perform spot checks. Therefore, any significant changes to the agreed schedule must be formally submitted as a change notification to the agency. This requirement exists to protect the rights of both the host family and the au pair, avoiding misunderstandings or legal violations. Exceptions to the fixed schedule are permitted only in rare or unusual circumstances, such as an unexpected illness.
Host Family Advantages and Feedback
For host families, the benefits of the au pair program are numerous. Beyond providing much-needed assistance with childcare—such as managing school runs, daycare drop-offs, and mealtime routines—au pairs also contribute to light household tasks (like tidying up, laundry, and simple cooking). This extra support can make a significant difference in the smooth running of a busy household.
Our host families have also shared their positive experiences via reviews:
I have been using Sunshine for three years and am about to welcome my third au pair into the family. The team is fantastic and shows a lot of care to the young people traveling across the world for these opportunities. The process is clear and robustly supported by the Sunshine team, and all of my au pairs have felt cared for by the agency throughout their journeys. There are many agencies out there that do not look after the young people they engage with, and I am very happy to share that Sunshine is not one of them. Highly recommend!
As a host family, I would like to recommend Sunshine Au Pair! We have been with them for 2 years. They respond very quickly to our requests and always have a list of candidates. The quality of the candidates is excellent—every candidate we interviewed through them was very capable and loving. They helped us, including non-EU candidates, with visa arrangements and guided us step by step through the documentation process. The agency actively and regularly follows up on the well-being of both the au pair and the host family. They also organize engaging activities for the au pairs to bond and build their social network. All in all, their service is excellent.
Such testimonials from both au pairs and host families reinforce that when rules are respected and a structured schedule is maintained, the au pair program can be a highly rewarding and enriching experience.
Conclusion:
Flexibility in the au pair program is not about allowing schedules to change on a whim; it’s about creating a stable, structured plan that supports both practical childcare needs and a rich cultural exchange. By adhering to the fixed weekly schedule and the legal guidelines, host families and au pairs can enjoy a harmonious, successful 12-month program that benefits everyone involved. At Sunshine Au Pair Agency, we are dedicated to making your dream a reality while ensuring that every participant feels supported, respected, and empowered to live life to the fullest.